Clary's Diary
by Princess DJ
Summary: A reading of an entry of Clary's diary, my first fan fiction :, It's really funny, what with some bareness, innuendoes, and my favorite glittering mythacal creature Magnus.
1. Pizza and uh other stuff

_I do not own Mortal Instruments series or the charectors within this fan fiction. First part is misleading, just keep reading :) I also added a little somein' extra at the end. _

Of all the times I held Jace in my arms and he had told me he loved me, now it meant so much more. The light from the bedside lamp made his eyes reflect the mot beautiful of golds. He nuzzled my neck and leaned in to whisper, "I love you, Clary. I love you so much it hurts." I wrapped my bare leg around his waist and flipped him over so that I was on top, "Really now?" He smiled up at me, "I'm all yours," But I was content to just lay on his chest and nap. He rubbed my back and spoke quietly.

"So…did you like it?"

I laughed. "Did I like…"

"You know,"

I pulled back up and sat on his chest. "I know a lot of stuff."

"Did you like what we were doing for the past, what? 3 hours?!"

"Ohhh, that." I shrugged, "It was okay. I've had better."

He flipped me over again and scowled down at me.

"Better than what? Girl, I am amazing. What are you talking about?"

"I don't know it was kind of drippy."

He looked embarrassed and sat up. I kicked him lightly.

"Hey, it was okay. How many times have you done it?"

His scowl lightened. As he thought.

"I don't know maybe a few times. But those have been in the kitchen."

"Oh"

"But it's okay, you took it better then the others." He was nodding vigorously.

"Like they screamed, and cried and begged for mercy. But not you! You'd think I was Izzy or something."

My eyebrows shot up. "You've down this to Izzy?"

"Yup, and Alec, and Hodge. Actually we were all together!"

I jumped up and tripped on his pants that I had thrown on the floor.

"Hey are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just..."

"But you know I try every once in a while. Try it out on different people. Different reactions and stuff."

"…"

"But yeah, I think my pizza making is getting really good."

I looked at the Jace made pizza crust that was spread out over his bed.

"Well your crust was a bit thick, and the sauce was drippy, it got all over your sheets. And the cheese was burned –"

"But it was made with love!" He smiled hopefully, lighting my heart.

I smiled and kissed him. "It was."

"Thank you for buying me an Easy Bake Oven. Most shadowhunters do not understand the extreme usage of being able to make pizza and sweets in you own room!"

"Since Izzy seems to be using the kitchen."

"Yeah"

I pulled my skirt down from where it had gathered itself around my butt as Jace and I were kissing…

_Magnus Point of View_

"**HEY!" I was attacted by a mass of flaming red hair.**

"**Magnus! You idiot! Why are you reading my diary?"**

**I started laughing. "Sorry, Clary. I couldn't help it. Hahahaha!"**

"**Only you could read something about eating pizza and turn it into a sexual innuendo."**

"**Hey, all you have to do is take out a few words, add in some racy sounding sentence structuring, and say it in the right voice. You made it too easy."**

**She grumbled, and slapped me softly on the arm. Alec, Isabelle, Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood, and Jace were all crowded around me as if it was story time. Jace walked over to Clary and kissed her neck, "I kind of liked it. He made it interesting." She frowned to hide her smile. I rolled my eyes, "I hate when other people have better sex lives than me. I'm just not used to you innocent types." Alec raised his eyebrows, "Magnus I think your glitter is seeking into your brain." I said and ---**

Magnus looked up startled. "Wh-what?" Jace stood in the doorway of Magnus' study, staring with his eyebrows hidden by his grown out bangs. "Um, I was just wondering if you were ready for Clay's lesson. But, you seem to be enjoying yourself so, we'll come back." Jace didn't look too upset about that, in fact he looked quite ecstatic.

"No send her in. I was just writing in my diary."

"You were reading aloud as you wrote in your diary about reading someone elses diary?"

"Like I've never done stranger things?" Magnus raised a perfectly structured eyebrow, and flashed Jace with a sultry smile. Jace visably paled.

"Yeah, well…we'll be back." Jace ran off down the hallway leaving Magnus pondering what Jace looked like wet and shirtless.

_I trailed my hand softly down Jace's shirtless chest…_


	2. Ain't no Halloween like a shadowhunter's

_This another entry by Clary. I'm sorry if it's not written like you would actually write in a diary. I like just thought of it and typed it. Hope you like it! It's Halloween for the Shadowhunters, and they...are not like anyone else. I don't own any of the charectors but I did make this story._

The timer beeped loudly and startled me. Not enough for me to raise myself out bed, but loud enough to know it was time to get dressed. I slowly turned my self around and untangled myself out of the sheets. My diary fell to the floor and was picked up by a glittery hand. "Why are you in my room Mag…?" I trailed off dumbfounded. "Happy Halloween Clary!" I closed my eyes and got back in bed, there was no way Edward Cullen was in my room. I got up again and stared into Simon starring as Edward Cullen. "What?"

Simon smiled. "Me and Izzy are dressed as Edward and Bella Cullen! Post Jacob of course."

Simon had on a tousled bronze wig, butterscotch contacts, a light blue button down, khaki pants, and of course, his whole body was slicked with silver glitter. I opened my mouth to comment but he looked so happy I couldn't say what I wanted.

"Okay then."

He raised his eyebrows then silently walked out the room chuckling.

I dressed and went into the kitchen, where I found another surprise. Mainly that Isabelle had on ripped baggy jeans, a loose Michael Jackson t-shirt, and absolutely no make-up. Did I also mention that she was cooking pancakes, and they looked and smelled like actually freakin pancakes! It was too much; I ran screaming out of the kitchen tripping over my untied converse leaving a confused Bella Swan/Isabelle in my wake.

After all that excitement, I figured I should go to the library to calm down. I walked thru the dusty stacks thinking of Jace. And how his eyes darkened (in a sexy way) whenever he was looking through the dark room for a book. When all of a sudden I ran into a blond girl. I stepped back and spit out hair. _It must be a weave. _

"I'm sorry miss. I was just-." For the second time in the last 2 hours, I was speechless. The lady I had walked into was Magnus. I pursed my lips and scrunched up my face to keep from laughing. He just looked so serious.

"Yes, dear?" He said in a high falsetto. I looked from his curled blond hair, smoky eye shadow and sparkly black eyeliner, to his rouge lipstick, corseted sparkly red dress, gold bangles, and red nail polish, to his 6 in. stilettos. Everything had matching sparkles, I found out there were sparkles for colors I didn't even know. His whole body was covered in sparkles.

"Are you Rosalie?"

He frowned. "Who the hell is Rosalie? I'm Buffy the vampire slayer's inner prostitute." He gestured at his extremely low neckline and wooden stake. I nodded and walked away.

My head hurt, I decided to go to my room. As I was walking back, I saw Alec poke his head out of his room. "Psst, Clary! Come here!!!" I walked slowly to his door, half-afraid.

"Will you unzip this? I'm gay so it's okay." I shook my head and walked into his room.

"Do you all go completely insane for Halloween?!"

Alec had on a shoulder length spiky pixie wig, blue eye shadow, and a pale blue mini-shift dress with purple sparkles around the hem. It was extremely pretty.

Alec shook his head.

"Magnus wanted to dress up as prostitute Buffy and Alice Cullen." I just blinked back at him.

"Can you get me out of this?"

"But you look so pretty!"

"I'm not kidding, Clary. Help me."

I started backing up towards the door. "Aw pretty Alec, can you run in your 4 in. heels?"

With that, I ran back out the door and straight into Jace. I hurriedly closed my eyes, "Jace, if Simon is Edward, and Magnus is prostitute Buffy, what exactly are you?" After a moment of silence I opened my eyes. Jace was staring at me, with big golden eyes and raised eye brows.

"…what?" I looked down and saw he was wearing red flannel pajama pants, no shirt, and had wild hair as if he had just woken up. The door behind me to Alec's room creaked as Alec tottered out in his heels.

"Clary!" He looked up and his body turned so red, you could see all of the silver glitter on his body. Jace's mouth was wide open, like he was about to stuff a whole pizza into it. Simon and Isabelle came around the corner and Magnus came from behind. We were cornered on all sides by the cast of Buffy and Twilight, for Magnus was carrying Church dressed as Angel. Jace pulled his stele from somewhere out of his pants and slowly turned around. Then he whispered. "Clary, I'll get Edward, Alice, and Buffy." I looked in his wild eyes, "Jace they're just dressed for the Halloween party." He shook his head piously. "Naw, that's just what they want you to think." He spun around and roared, "Edward!!!" Simon looked at Jace stunned, his face flickering from amazement, to amusement, to fear.

"OH SHIT!"

He turned and ran down the hallway followed closely by Jace. Isabelle started to run after them but that was before she noticed Magnus and Alec's attire.

"Are you wearing my clothes?!" She could be the poster child for a fierce, powerful, revengeful shadowhunter. Alec widened his eyes.

"Izz,"

Izzy tackled both of them and slammed them into a wall. Magnus kicked out with a heeled foot only to be flung to the far wall. I looked back down the hallway to see how Edward was faring. There was a smear of sparkles on the wall and floor. I walked quietly back to my room, thinking I should stick to Halloween with mom and Luke.

_What'd ya think? Was it stupid? Sucky? Amazing? Horrible? Should I stop writing?! Anyway please review._


	3. Mo Glitter?

_I do not own any charecters, execpt Mo'glitter. If you do not like random and or completly weird things. do not continue to read this story. This is what happens under the stress of finals. Sorry if you get sort of confused. I know I am._

My eyes are burning, diary. Burning with tears of resentment, and jealousy. Or maybe just laughter. My throat is tight enough that not even spit can get down, I'm having trouble breathing. But, perhaps I should just tell you what happened. I slept over in Jace's room last night. There was no pizza :p. I woke up on Jace's stomach, he was still asleep. I didn't tell him but I sorta kinda drooled on him. But then again he drooled on his arm so, I guess it's okay. Anyway, yesterday he walked me over to Magnus' house…

"_My hands ever so softly brush his chest. The fire flares inside both of us as we look into each others eyes. My hands travel, up, up, to his wonderful golden face. His eyelashes are like feathers. His arms tighten around my waist and pull me closer. His kisses are like raindrops, falling fast and slowly, but hurried and rushed. But beautiful and--" Jace stops in the doorway, looking uncomfortable. "Um, Magnus. Should we come back later?" Magnus looked up startled from his journal. "WTF Jace! WTF?" He wipes the spit that's hanging down off his mouth, and his face changes to impassive. But not before Jace sees the look of lust. I leaned back on Jace. "We can leave you alone." He sighs. "No, no, lets get this over with. I'm meeting Alec later." Jace shrugs, "As long as you're both careful." Magnus hurls a pillow at Jace who catches it smoothly and throws it back on the couch."_

Nothing interesting happens in my lesson. Magnus lets me read the book of runes, not as much as I would have liked but enough. We also look up more detailed Angel history to see if there is anymore power Jace and I haven't tapped yet. The interesting part happends when I go to the bathroom.

_As soon as I walk out of the room, Magnus closes the door and dims the lights. Jace just sniffs and leans back on the couch. "She's very pretty isn't she?" Jace stares at the ceiling. "Clary? She's gorgeous. Beautiful, fantastic, amazing, shall I go on?" Magnus shakes his head, causing glitter to fall like sparkling dandruff. "You must really love her." _

"_OMG! How did you know?!"_

_Magnus sat down by Jace's outstretched legs. "Just guessed." He leans down until he is ontop of Jace. _

"_Oh Lord" Jace pushes Magnus off of him. "Uh, uh, no way. First of all I thought we established I am in absolute, irrevocable love with Clary! Second, your gay! Third, your boyfriend is my best friend!" Magnus rolls his eyes. "Narcisstic much? You had something in your hair." He reaches down to pull some lint off Jace's face. His fingertips brush his ear, eyelashes, lips, and chest before he grabs Jace's face and mashes his into it. Rotating his head and sitting on Jace's lap._

This is the scene Alec and I walked in on. We both just stared. Alec horrified, I was just confused.

_Jace pushes Magnus into the far wall. "What the hell?! Are you freaking crazy?!" Magnus just laughs. "You beautiful, shadowhunter. Haven't you known I've been in love with you since I first met you?" Alec shuddered. His face contorting in rage. He let out a howl of despaire as he ran out the hall into the street. My dark humor at the situation, turned into a horrible, horrible pain as I whispered, "Jace?" The room blurred through my tears. Jace looked at me, his eyes softening. "Clary, I didn't know…I just … he surprised… please?" He ran forward and wrapped his arms around me. "don't cry, don't cry. I'm here and I love you. I don't want anything but you. Please, its okay." I wasn't really worried about Jace leaving me for Magnus but I had PMS so I was a little wacked. I turned to Magnus, "How could you do this?! Alec loves you, you idiot! Magnus! Look at me! Stop laughing!" _

"_I'm not laughing, Clary."_

_I turned around confused. Magnus was standing behind me…and infront of me. Jace recovered quicker than me, "What in the name of Raziel? There are two Magnus's?!" Jace got down on his knees and clasped his hands together. "Dear Lord, I know I never speak to you. Nor, do I really believe you. But if you hear me. What have I done to deserve two Magnus's? Alec might enjoy it but-"Magnus number two pulled Jace up by his shirt. "Shut up Jace. Don't mock God, he will smite you." Jace looked at him horrified,"who are you? I wasn't mocking, I was praying!" Magnus number one glared at Magnus number two. "I'm Mo'glitter. Magnus's twin brother. You stupid shadow hunters couldn't figure that out?" Jace scowled, "That Magnus had a twin brother? Or that said twin brother had a stupid name like Mo'glitter? Wait…Mo'glitter isn't that surprising. So, nevermind." I just stared. "Alec ran screaming out into the street, he might do something to hurt himself. We need to find him." Magnus number two sucked in a great breath. "What? What happened?" "Magnus number one made out with Jace, Alec saw and ran off." Magnus number two, ran to the door. "I have to find him!" then came running back into the room. _

"_Hey, Mo', how was it?" He smiled. Jace's jaw dropped, "What?" Mo'glitter grinned, "Okay, he's not half bad." Jace looked offended," wait a minute." Magnus winked and was out the door. "I'm a wonderful kisser!" _

Anyway. That was my dream. It was weird. I woke up screaming. (I was actually laughing) I mean I was concered for Alec, thinking of ways to decapatite Magnus, I mean Mo'glitter, and thinking of slapping Jace. At breakfast I told everybody (Izzy, Simon, Luke, Mr & Mrs. Lightwood) who laughed. Magnus laughed too loudly, Jace spit out his oatmeal, and Alec scowled in the general direction of the table. But, that was okay. Because Jace spent the whole day showing me how much he loved me. I think I might have to make up another dream, like this. If not just to get another Clary appreciation day. Simon is still laughing.

_Yup. scale of 1 to 10 how random/good/bad was it. don't hurt my fwellings *sniffle* actually you can if you want to. anyway. I promise the next entry will make sense, be funny, and be better. Just maybe after finals. Sorry for any gramatical errors. Me no do grammer good. Just ask my 3rd through 9th grade teachers._


	4. With your gyrating self!

**So…I promised that this story would be funny and make sense. Well in order for it to make sense I will provide some background on the subject. Magnus has just put forth the money to buy a Wii gaming system. He of course being a party animal bought a karaoke game and invited his favorite shadowhunters over. P.S he also bought a tanning bed. Magnus, Isabelle and Alec are using the tanning bed, everyone else is using the wii. Guest appearance by Maia! So…I think you should continue reading. **

_All the single ladies, (all the single ladies) all the single ladies, so put your hands up! Up in the club…_

Simon stood shaking his hips in front of the tv. His tight, latex leotard stretched to its limit as he dipped to the ground and gyrated his hips above the floor.

"OH MY GOD!" There was a scream and then the sound of falling plates.

"No!!!!! oh, oh my…why? They burn, it burns so bad! My eyes, why Simon, why?" Jace was crumpled on the floor, twitching in the middle of spilled popcorn, and chips. Simon danced over to where Jace was and started swinging his hips above Jace's head. I bit my fist to keep from laughing. Jace opened his eyes and screamed. Magnus walked in wearing a bright red speedo, and goggles. "Geez, if I had known inviting all of you over to play my new wii would be so troublesome." Simon squealed (yes, squealed) and jumped backwards…onto Jace's face.

"NO! NO! MY FACE! NOW IT'S BURNING!" Simon scrambled up, only to be grabbed down by Jace.

"No! Put whatever it was that was in my face in my face! First you in a leotard, then Magnus in a speedo? My poor beautiful eyes!"

"That was my butt in your face dumb ass!"

Jace screamed and rolled over.

I fell off the couch laughing hysterically. No, not laughing chortling. That's what I was doing. Chortling loudly.

Magnus reached behind himself and dug the speedo out of his butt. Simon had walked back in front of the tv and was trying to follow the tv's instructions.

"Move left arm in front of…_beum…_ -50 points"

"Ahh, I give up you stupid thing."

Jace sat up slowly.

"Is it my turn to play now Simon?" Alec walked into the room wearing his neon blue speedo with straps. Think Borat. Jace took one look at Alec, got up, and walked over to me.

"Remind me never to come back to Magnus's while he is using his tanning bed."

_A few hours later_

Magnus sang I'm in love with a stripper. For your protection, I will not describe it .

Jace sang Feeling Good by Michael Buble. He got the snapping and foot turning and sliding that the guy was doing in the music video. And looked hot doing it.

_Birds lying high, you know how I feel. Sun in the sky you know how I feel_

"It looks like a James Bond movie _(feeling good music video)._ Hey, I'm CIA!" Jace said during an instrumental part of the song.

Maia sat back down on the couch next to me pulling her, tight purple t-shirt down.

"Conceited Impudent Ass?"

"At least I'm not a dog!"

"Delightful Obdurate**1** and Gallant?"

Simon snickered next to her. "You can't win Jace. She specializes in acronyms."

Maia smiled proudly, "Spelling bee champion 3 years in a row."

Alec sang beautiful by Christiana Aguilera, and like in Mean Girls, Simon threw a shoe at him. Alec just broke Simon's nose, and all without missing a beat. Isabelle sang dirrty in her minimal swimsuit in front of Simon. Maia didn't like that too much. Neither did Alec. I just concentrated on kissing Jace. Haha. Maia sang She-Wolf. "_There's a she-wolf in the closet, open up and set it free. There's a she wolf in the closet let it out so it can breathe." _Very appropriate. Surprisingly she could do exactly what Shakira was doing in her music video without a cage. She even howled at the end. Simon looked like he was enjoying himself. Then after everyone had gone twice it was my turn to sing. :P

_My one and only shining star said, stick with me and I'll take you far. Your eyes are sparkling with teenage fire…_

I got into the song, and started banging my head around to the beat. Simon played air guitar and Jace started air drumming. Maia joined in singing, "_my heart is aching to see you play, and I can't wait till another day. The way you shake me is really hot, you know how to use what you got!"_

Magnus danced around in his tiny speedo singing along with us. Alec and Isabelle just sat on the couch and stared. We played multi player and training session. Alec won the voice challenge. That's okay, we all challenged him to a rematch next week. Hahahaha!

**Songs used: Feeling Good: Michael Buble – Jace**

**I love playing with fire: The Runaways**

**Dirrty: Christina Aguilera**

**Beautiful: Christina Aguilera **

**Single Ladies (put a ring on it): Beyonce**

**I'm in love with a stripper: T-Pain**

**She-Wolf: Shakira **

1. **Obdurate: stubborn**

**Okay, review!!!!! Spread the randomness, tell me how you really feel. Tell me what you would like to happen in the next story, have any good quotes? What's your favorite chapter so far? Do you like my writing? Am I really this random/silly/funny/sarcastic in real life? (yes) Have I even READ Mortal Instruments?! (yes, multiple times, and will read the prequel and the sequel) Any questions? Talk to me people! Below is the random idea I got that turned into this story.**

Jace: "I'm CIA

Maia: "Conceited Impudent Ass?"

Jace: "At least I'm not a dog"

Maia: "Delightful Obdurant and Gallant? Or Delightful Organized Grace? One out of 3 isn't bad Jace"

Jace: "Which one?"

Simon: "you know it's not the first 2"

Clary: "not organized? Have you seen his room?

Maia: "so your boyfriend is graceful and has OCD. Congratulations, Clary"


	5. A splash of color

Jace crept around the corner, silent, dark, and deadly. His hair blew back from his face, and he stood confident, like an archangel. His open shirt whipped around him as he stood, listening, for something, or someone. "AHHH!" Simon front flipped off of the block and started shooting madly. "DIE BASTARDS!" He screamed his mouth was open in a snarl; his eyes were big and bright. Jace whorled around and fired 1 2 3 shots. Simon fell to the ground with a giant red glob spreading across his chest rapidly. "I always knew it would come to this." Jace walked slowly to where Simon lay with round eyes. "I knew from the moment you held her hand. It had to be one of us. I came out on top." Jace's passionate speech was interrupted by the appearance of a ball of yellow. Jace fell sideways. Isabelle appeared with her slit skirt tied like harem pants. "Never turn your back in paintball Jace." – this was the scene I walked in on.

I stopped at the doorway, "Should I come back?" Jace hopped up. "Clary!" He ran and kissed me, smearing paint all over my face. I walked over by Simon and bent to pick up his paint gun. There was snickering behind me. I turned around, "What?" You have two yellow hand prints on your butt." I slapped my hands on my butt and put them in front of my face, sure enough they were yellow. "Jace!" I yelled. He just smiled and shrugged. I huffed and ran after him waving the paint gun around madly. Then…the lights went out. Jace stopped so suddenly I ran into him, accidently hitting the trigger of my paint gun. A muffled ouch came up somewhere above. A green spotlight appeared and began waving madly, followed by more spotlights each one lighting up and moving randomly until there were all the colors of the rainbow. A light sprinkle of confetti rained down, covering a flash of silver. Magnus stepped onto a platform high above us wearing silver thigh high combat boots, and a black duster, with…bleached blond hair. _More Buffy, I'm sorry._ No sooner did he hit the ground, when paintballs began splattering everywhere.

I ducked and dove for cover under a lifted wall. "Defensive Action! Defensive Action!" Jace sprinted out of cover, a paint splatter covered every place his feet had occupied milliseconds before. Magnus raised his arms, untouched. Isabelle twirled her paint gun around, moving in a circle protecting Simon, her paint gun moving so fast it deflected every paint ball aimed for them. I ran out of the safety of the lifted wall and quickly scanned the room for any and all adversaries before finally deciding to hit the tiniest spotlight in the whole darkened, revolving rainbow spotlight room. My aim was much improved so it hit the target on the first try. The paintballs ceased pounding us, the lights turned back on, and Magnus looked annoyed. "Good Job Clary." Mr. Lightwood walked in from a side door. Magnus shook his newly dyed hair. "Whatever, can I go I was supposed to meet Alec for blow…" "WHOA! Magnus?!" Jace looked innocently appalled. "BLOW POPS DUMBASS!" Jace smiled and fell on the floor laughing, followed by Simon. Mr. Lightwood looked uncomfortable. "Okay, well. Today's training session is over. He looked back at Jace before disappearing back behind the door. "Don't be jealous Jace." "Okay, okay. No fighting boys." Jace rolled his eyes. "Whatever." I realeased the hold on my paintball gun and let one fly straight into Jace's face. He recoiled and held his hand to his face. Everyone busted out laughing. He ran and grabbed my waist, twirling me around before throwing me in a giant puddle of paint.


	6. An authors ramblings

Hey-peoples!

-Guess-what?-

I-wrote-a-story!-

But-guess-what?-

My-usb-port-will-not-work.-

And-guess-what?-

This-computer-has-no-space-bar.…-

so-I-cant-rewrite-it-cause-it-would-be-extremely-wrong-and-very-weird

But-Im-going-to-try!-to-find-another-computer

Im-sorry.-

Imagine-Jace-in-a-ball-pit-with-a-spit-sucker…

and-an-archangel

Does-the-story-have-it?.

-Youll-just-have-to-see.-

PS-this-computer-doent-have-appostraphies-either.-

or-apparently-spell-check.


	7. Jace visits the dentist

**I'm sorry it took so long to put this story up! I have to use a crappy laptop, because my other laptop broke, and the laptop that I wrote this on will blocked this website, I had state testing (wish me luck), national French tests, AND the only computer that will not block this web site not at a library doesn't have a space bar!!!! Sigh. Okay, well I hope you enjoy it!**

The reflected sunlight made my eyes burn, but I kept looking at the glass building anyway. I refused to look at the lake in front of me, or even the people milling around in Central Park. But most of all I wanted to keep from looking at the shadow behind the tree. A flash of brilliant light reverberated out from the water, people stopped and moved towards it._ Idiots._ I closed my eyes as a smooth arm descended onto my shoulders, "Clary, Clary, Clary. You don't want to see the show? I made it just for you." I could feel his smile from the tightness of his body against mine. My eyes flew open and I watched the water fall down into the earth, pulling all matter of objects with it, like our very own Charibdis. Gabriel chuckled as a child was swept off his feet and into the water. He twirled around with high pitched screams, flailing his tiny arms. He breathed in time with the violent motion, crashing into the ground as the water drained. Gabriel stopped it just as the boy got to the hole, an invisible force plucked him up and planted him into the arms of his hysterical sister. "Stop playing, Where is he?" Gabriel glared, his voice coming out forcefully, "Where is who?" Just thinking the name made me shiver. "My brother."

* * *

"No! No! I don't wanna! You can't make me!!!" Jace started beating his hands on the table. "Stop whining!" "No, pwease?" He jumped (literally) across the table and put his lips on mine. "Please? Please?" For each word there was kiss, soft, and sweet. He moved down lower, "Please?" After he'd kissed my chest I'd had about enough. "Stop!" He stopped and looked at me. "I'll go, but you have to catch me first!" He ran out the kitchen door exactly as Simon appeared. _Smack! _"Crap," Simon lay crumpled on the ground holding his head and Jace leaned against the doorway holding his chest. "Dude, that felt like a freaking massive heart burn." It was quiet. That is until Jace burped. A flash of gold flipped out from behind Simon and wrapped itself around Jace. Isabelle stepped out of the doorway, "Did someone say dentist?"

The walls at the dentist office were cotton candy blue. Jace sat at the Lego table trying to teach a three year old how to build a chaos demon. "No, no. The eyes are there, and the fangs are right here. No, here. No-hey!" The little boy slapped Jace's hand and threw a Lego at him before stomping away to a giggling mother. A sharp bell sounded as someone opened the back door. It was a woman, wearing a black scrub suit, red glasses and red pumps. Her eyes were surrounded by an excess of eyeliner but…she reminded me of someone I knew. "Um, a…uh…Mr. Wayland?" Her voice was so high a violin player would have to shift to 5th position to make the same sound. Jace looked back and I could have sworn I saw a little nod between the two of them. Jace stood up, "Well, uh. Looks like its time for me to go…to the dentist. Who will look at my teeth. Yup. Just me, like a big boy. Without my girlfriend." He turned to the little boy and pointed at me. The boy smiled and gave a thumbs up. "_…_" Jace backed up slowly to the door nodding, as soon as he got out the door he started fast walking. Something was not right. I slid a Lego across the floor and thankfully it was big enough to stop the door before it closed.

**Clary just snuck into the dentist office**

The hallways were empty except for creepy finger paintings of teeth and maniac tooth brushes. The woman from before came out of the bathroom to my left, scrubbing the eyeliner off her face. "Dude, I thought for sure Clary recognized me." I tilted my head and waited for Alec to recognize me. _I knew she looked familiar_ He just stared. He glanced over my shoulder so quickly I almost thought I imagined it. That was until I heard quiet footsteps. I turned and ran flat out down the hallway. I tackled Jace before he had reached the door and we fell sideways into a dental chair. "Clary! I was just, uh, following the dentist!" He hit a button and we both rolled off onto the tray of dentist tools. "Yeah, right! What kind of shadow hunter is afraid to go to the dentist?!" He looked around, "One who loves sweets a little too much." He threw a spit sucker at me and sprinted out the door. The top came off, so it sprayed left over spit all over my face. I turned around screaming and took off after Jace. I ran past a room with a young female in it, a room full of dentists, and a room with a blond dude and black haired woman making out. _Wait…_ I ran back into the room. Alec was standing closest to me while Jace rubbed his arms over his back pretending to make out. What freaked me out more were the groaning noises. "Jace!" Jace dropped Alec and sprinted behind me to the door. Again I ran after him. He ran threw an automatic door at the end of the hallway and paused while air dramatically flew in his face. He looked back at me as if in slow motion then, he jumped. I ran faster and stopped at the edge of the door. Jace had jumped in a ball pit. Alec ran from behind and tackled me throwing us both into the pit. I pushed my way to the surface, slapping my hands down and spreading balls everywhere in frustration. "What kind of office has a freaking ball pit?!" A red plastic ball hit me in my face. I looked up to see Alec do a flawless front flip out of the pit and onto the platform of the other doorway. Jace turned and blew a kiss already out, "See you later baby!" I huffed and swam to the door. Once in the hallway I heard screaming, "No, you can't! NO!" I ran towards the voice. It was Jace. He was tied down in a dentist chair while a dentist with a mirror and drill leaned over him. _That was fast._

* * *

The sky was dark as Jace and I made our way back to the Institute. "Sf, why did chu meat wif den Arfangel?" Jace was trying to talk through a numb mouth and an ice pack. "Gabriel has information on Sebastian. He is not an Archangel." Jace frowned as he massaged his jaw, "Close enough." "My brother needs a key, I want to find it." This time he frowned in confusion. "What key?" "Sebastian is a pissed off human demon hybrid. The demon world is not only sealed with portals and such but also with a key. If he finds that key literally all hell will break loose and under his control. He doesn't want to purge demons like my father, just revenge. He needs to be stopped." We were silent the rest of the way. Both thinking of Sebastian, and the key. "So, he would control a demon army?" Jace broke the silence first. "Yes, if we find it we could seal it back and destroy it so only a few select demons could travel through dimensions or whatever." Another heavy silence. I wasn't as brave as Jace so I whispered. "What are you thinking about?"

"I was wondering if that new bar-b-q place down the street is open. Also, I wondered if they have pickles."


	8. Jace's monogram

I couldn't help it. Spread the randomness

**Jace P.O.V**

Me. Myself. I. That's who supported me growing up, that is who will continue to support me. Am I hard on myself? Yes. Rather unnecessary because my father was hard enough without help. Funny. The man who raised me as his son, who taught me to be the top shadowhunter in my class, who tried to stomp down my humanity, wasn't even my dad. He had no relation to me at all. More like an adoptive parent from one of those bad teen movies. He was also technically my nurse. I guess you could say. I had the most horrific cesarean section in the history of births in Alicante. Maybe, probably not unfortunately. I have seen people at their worst, I have seen them at their best. I have come to one conclusion. People are stupid. And hypocritical. Mean, and dependent. I've also learned people are intelligent, wonderful, annoying, helpful, confusing, and have a strong capacity for love. Straight from my heart, like word vomit. Who is Jace Wayland? A fictional creature created by Valentine to be a soldier. Alias Jonathan Morgenstern. Real name? Jace. Last name? None. Why? The Herondale child is hardly a suitable name. Jace Herondale? When the only real family I had ever know treated me like the most disgusting piece of trash she had ever laid eyes on, until she saw my birth mark? My love was once my sister, that didn't change my feelings. I was disgusted with myself. I once, thought of myself as Valentine's son. I was upset, and confused. I once thought of myself as half demon. I was once again disgusted with my self. I once thought of myself as lonely and loved without any real affection. Love is the thing that antagonists try to take away. Your one weakness is love. You would do anything to save the ones you love. Yet, for the ones we really and truly love we would die for, even if we live for them. Love is our weakness, but also our strength. I should have a motto. I've thought of a few but, "It's Jace, bitches!" doesn't cut it. My ramblings could go on and on and on. But for now, I will stop (because my pen is running out of ink) and leave you, the reader to ponder over my writings.

*note from owner (Clary): It's monologue Jace. Monologue. A monogram is a design composed of one or more letters, typically the initials of a name. Like on the back of the underwear Mrs. Lightwood gave you.

*note from author(Jace): Shut up! I was making a pun, a play on words. Love you!

*note from owner: you better 3 at least you didn't say mammogram

*note from author: mammo-who?

*note from owner: do you have boobies? If not ignore the question.

*note from author: lemme check…

*note from owner: …

**Clary P.O.V**

"Are you two seriously writing notes to each other, while sitting next to each other?" Simon narrowed his eyes in confusion. Jace looked up briefly, "Yes," He turned to me, "I don't know if I have boobies or not, so you should let me look at yours so I can get an idea as what they look and feel –" Simon's chair scraped loudly on the floor as he got up from the table. "No way in the world am I going to sit here listening to this." Our giggling followed Simon out the door and down the hallway.


	9. Archange's and milk cartons

**Clary, Jace, Izzy, Alec, and Simon meet Gabriel at a restaurant. Will he tell them where Sebastian and the key are? Does he have a crush on Clary? Will there be any Percy Jackson references? Or Vampire Academy? Will there be random shenanigans? OOOHHH MYYYY GOODNESS! READ ON MY FRIEND.**

We all sat around the table glaring at the blond, bronze, maniacal man across from us. Jace clenched his jaw and hands, almost breaking his milk carton. The other blond man smiled sweetly.

"You asked me to dinner to threaten me?"Jace sipped his milk and put it down carefully. He put his middle finger and thumbs together and started making circles in the air as he talked with a fake Italian accent. "We come to you. Asking for help. We bring you to a restaurant as a sign of peace. We---"Jace stopped and looked at us.

"What?" Simon unknitted his eyebrows. "First of all you have a milk mustache. Second, you're not in the Godfather stop talking like that." Izzy just kept staring at Jace. I looked back at Gabriel.

"You DO know where Sebastian is. You also know where the key is. We don't want to hurt you, just tell us where both of them are." Gabriel narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

I looked into his eyes. "Because, it not all about you. People could get hurt." Gabriel looked innocently appalled. "OMG." Jace slammed his fist on the table.

"Look. We don't have time for this. If Sebastian opens the gates to Hell we are going to war. Again. You and your archangel buddies will be affected to. Redeem your selfish self, help us!" Gabriel stood up and grabbed Jace's neck and slammed him so hard into the wall the booth on the other side of us fell.

Jace already had his knife out and was holding it against Gabriel's throat. I tried to push them off of each other.

"Stop! Both of you, just stop!" Gabriel glared at me, "Stay back, Clary."

He looked back at Jace, "Is that what you think? That I'm selfish? After all I've done. If I was going to help you before I'm definitely not now."

He released Jace and started to walk away. I grabbed his arm.

"Please, no. He's just upset, we need your help." I opened my eyes wide, and pouted. His gaze went to my lips and I redden. "Please?" He looked back in my eyes and sat down.

"Your brother is moving from demon dimension to Alicante. The demons are wary because of the numbers they lost before. Old demons are being released and are taking over so they don't trust him. He stays in the cave Jace was in during the battle. There is no key. It was something made up so that a few shadowhunters would fall into a trap that landed them possessed. That's all the information I can give you for right now. I'll find you when I learn more information, or if I just want to see you." He smiled flirtily and winked.

Jace closed his eyes and grabbed my hand. I don't think he likes Gabriel very much. "So, you're on our side now?" Gabriel didn't answer. I asked him the same question.

Gabriel frowned."I'm not an archangel, you know?" Izzy spoke for the first time, "Then what are you?" He looked at her and she blushed. "Ask Magnus."

He threw twenty dollars on the table to cover his hamburger, Jace's milk and cookie, and Izzy's tea. Then he strutted to the door and disappeared into the crowd. "He's a wizard." We all looked at Alec. "I just texted Magnus, Gabriel was Magnus's apprentice in the 1700's." They all looked at me. Jace opened his eyes and stared deeply into mine. "How did you find him?" I shrugged still staring at Jace. "Telephone book." Jace nodded and sat back and sipped his milk again. Simon smacked Jace's milk carton out of his hand. "You're supposed to be our strongest shadow hunter! Why are you sipping milk from a carton with a straw in the middle of a McDonalds?!" Jace frowned."I need my calcium." I feel out of my chair laughing, my crazy brother temporarily forgotten.

**I'm sorry it took so long to put up. I wrote this quickly and I'm really sorry if it sucks. I've found I put Gabriel in the story and now I have no idea what to do with him. And I liked writing the random entries because they were funny and not so serious. :p But anyway I started it so I'm going to finish. I'm in a Percy Jackson mood so I was about to make the key be in California but then I thought "hey, how about its fake?" Grr. Please review and tell me whether you like the random or serious entries better. Review anyway even if you want to tell me I'm confusing and I need to shut up. Either way. **


	10. Rodeo Time

**Hey guys! I'm soooo sorry. I keep having computer problems! I wrote some fanfics, saved it and whoops! My computer had a midlife crisis and erased them. So… then the other computer had a virus :p then the next one…had a virus :p…so I'm sorry. I'm trying **** Thank you for reading these even if I can't update. But it's almost summer so I'm going to try to update more (like I've never said THAT before) Again I'm sorry and thank you again for reading and commenting, I REALLY EXTREMELLY, SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICALLY appreciate it. **

The smell of sweat clung almost physically to the air. Not to mention cow manure. I twirled around in the dusty, windy little arena trying to keep hold of my skirt and hat. I moved with the skirt, up and down and around and up again. I was trying to keep anyone from seeing my underwear. And my runes. But mostly my underwear. Jace came from out of nowhere with a piece of plant stuck between his teeth. "Now darlin' you need to stop doing that there dance. The hoe down don't start till 7." I stopped twirling to glare at him. "Why did you tell me to wear a skirt? I can't keep it still!" He just grinned and caught hold of my arms. My skirt flared up around me and Jace bent down and kissed my exposed leg. I was about to knee the blond off him but he pulled down the jean shorts I forgot I had on and tucked the bottom of the skirt into the bottom hem of my shorts. Then he stood up and smirked at me. I tried to play kick him but ended up sending him tumbling back into a booth of cowboy hats. He stood up and shook himself off. "I'm good. It's all good." I smiled at him as he got up and threw his arms around me. We walked from stall to stall admiring the many trinkets and baubles. At 7 o'clock we headed for the big colorful tent for the bull riding competition. Things were about to get interesting.

**M POV: Magnus point of view**

Finally! A day off those annoying clients and their stupid, "fix it your damn self!" problems. Nobody had anything they really needed a wizard for. Stupid advance technology. It was always, "I need a portal" or "I need a sleeping potion." Hello? Sleeping potions? Do I look like a friar in Verona helping two dumb starstruck lovers? No! Get some Grey Goose and you'll pass out in about 2 hours. Anyway. Izzy saw a cute cowboy (he **was** extremely hot) at the mall and signed us up for a bull riding competition, FUN! So here I sit in my neon orange, bedazzled cowboy boots, staring at…..why is Simon petting a bull? Why is Maia running away? Why are people screaming….oh shit.

**C POV: Clary point of view**

I'm back diary! You'll never guess what happened…_dreamy harp music and a fuzzy screen…_

"Ahhhhh!" A flash of brown streaked in front of me and landed in a heap in front of Jace. He bent down and tilted his head, "Hey Simon." I looked up towards the screaming frantic wave of people. "What did you do?" I asked. Simon jumped up and looked around. A giant bull walked up to Simon and stood there breathing down on him. Apparently he didn't notice because he looked everywhere but behind him muttering to himself.

"Maybe it didn't see me running. Big idiot. Ha-ha. Stupid cow." Jace pursed his lips in pleasure, loving every minute of this.

"Uh…Simon?"

"Yeah?"

"…"

"It's behind me isn't it."

"Nope."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Are you lying?"

"Hells yeah."

"Crap."

Simon turned around and used his vampire strength to go straight through the wall. The bull turned to us and blew out smoke…err…dust. Jace stood with both legs apart and looked it directly in the eye. "Grrr. Huff. Huff. Rawwwwwr! Gggrrrreeeeeellllllllwwwwaaaa." I slapped him on his arm. "What the heck was that?" He turned his face proudly towards me, "I speak bull!"

"What was rawr, grelwa?"

"Rawr is 'I AM AWESOME! FEAR ME!' in dinosaur, and grreeeellllwwwwaaaa is Chubbakanese for 'Why are you yelling?'"

I stood staring at him with my mouth open. I was going to say something else but a solid piece of rock slammed into me, knocking me to the ground. Turns out it wasn't a solid piece of rock but Jace **catching** a giant piece of rock that knocked me to the ground. He tried to grab it before it hit my head but it jerked his arm backwards and knocked me over. I scrambled up and looked for where it had come from. "Thanks." "No prob." His face was pale and his face looked strained. "Jace…." I looked down and saw his arm was bent at a weird angle. "Jace! We need to fix your arm!" "No time for that sweetie." He picked me up and swung me into the rafters while catching the bull's horns and pulling himself on top of it. I flipped midair and kicked the rafters with both feet sending me back to the ground and behind the raging bull. Mundane's everywhere were screaming and running like mad. Simon was running in front of the bull huffing and puffing, probably cussing him out. Jace grabbed both arms and tried to turn the bull by pulling on its horns. A flash of smoke appeared out of nowhere to the right of me and I turned away coughing. Magnus and Isabelle where standing in the middle of the rapidly clearing smoke wearing matador outfits, Magnus had a red cape in his hands and Isabelle had her whip. Alec had taken Simon's place and was running in front of the bull. "Jace! Olay!" Magnus flipped his cape and strode towards the bull. The bull stopped following Alec and turned towards Magnus. Isabelle stood silently behind the cape staring at Simon who was hidden behind some barrels. "Olay!" Jace tightened his grip on the bull and kicked its hind quarters. The bull stomped the ground and puffed, then in a split second ran at full speed towards the red cape. After a few heart pounding seconds Magnus threw his hat at Jace who caught it just as it became a parachute, and flung the cape in the bull's face. Alec appeared behind the bull and grabbed its tail, while Isabelle lassoed its legs. Simon jumped on its back and tied the cape around its neck then hopped off all in about 2.1 seconds. Isabelle flipped the bull over and finished tying the lasso around its legs. Then they all stood up with their hands in the air, smiling. The humans slowly came back into the room clapping. One guy had a huge blond mustache and basically looked like Colonel Sander's in cowboy gear. "Weee-doogies, I ain't ner' seen a bull fight like that! Shooooot. Ya'll must've hog tied 'em in 'bout 8 seconds flat. Dawg-on! Shoot. Ya'll win, I guess." Magnus shook off his neon orange cowboy boots. "All in a day's work." The hot cowboy dude that Isabelle liked came up behind her and kissed her. "My, my. Who knew real cowgirls could be so pretty? I never knew you could do that!" Simon pushed him backwards into the dirt, "That's because you just met her! You don't know her at all!" Isabelle slapped Simon and helped the guy up. "Shut up, Simon. Do you want to go get some BBQ?" "Sure."

All in all. We won the bull riding completion and got a $500 check and a year's supply of BBQ. Isabelle got a boyfriend. Simon is PISSED, Jace has an infected (yet unbroken) arm, and we all have more BBQ then we could possible ever want. So…we gave it to the homeless shelter.


	11. Dance Class

"1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. Jace get your hand off her butt, 2, 3." Jace smiled and squeezed my butt once more then put it properly back on my waist. I smiled and purposely stomped on his foot. He faltered and we bumped into two raven-haired dance partners. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. The girl flipped her hair in my face and pranced off with the boy in skinny tuxedo pants. Jace flipped his hair haughtily, "Well, I've never seen such rude people in my life!" Suddenly the piano player switched from Opus 91 to Everybody was kung fu fighting. The teacher screwed up her face, marched right on over to the piano, and spoke to the fluff of purple sparkles behind it. "Magnus! This is ballroom dancing! Not Asian club hopping!" Magnus looked up but did not stop playing. "As an Asian I take offence at your comment." Nevertheless, he returned to playing Brahms. I smiled then gasped as the raven-haired couple bumped into me. The girl turned around, once again flipping her hair in my face, "Oh! My bad." As she walked off Jace's face transformed into his shadowhunter face. "Ohhh, it is ON!" Jace twirled me out and into the side of the girl then spun me back into his arms and danced off. The girl foxtrotted her way over to us and kicked her legs towards my face as her partner lifted her up. The teacher came running over, "Now girls! Boys! Stop this right now!" Jace went down on one knee, swept the other foot out, and tripped the boy. The girl gasped, "Richey!" 'Richey' got up and looked back at Jace. "Stay out of this Rachel! You wanna go?" Jace looked blankly at him, "Go where?" Magnus started playing Run This Town on piano. Richey took off his jacket and threw it on the ground. "Dance battle. Now!" He snapped his fingers, "Yeah by Usher, key of E!" Magnus looked up with his eyebrow raised indignantly then played what he asked. Richey started bouncing on his toes. Then he threw his arm out and started to break dance. He twirled on the ground and started spinning on his head. Then he got up and did some weird feet-crossing slide thing. The whole time Jace and I just stood there. Then Richey stopped and walked to the side. Jace walked to the middle of floor and shook off his shoes. "Magnus! Play…something good!" Magnus smiled, "Gottcha Jace." After the first 2 bars Jace sighed, "Lady Gaga? Really?" Magnus looked up behind two reflective white glasses lens. "When did he get those?" I mumbled to myself. Magnus started singing," Gaga ohh lala. Somein' somein' Romance." Jace held up two hands on either sides of his face. Then he switched and had one hand on top of his head and the other under his chin. After a few seconds I figured out he was trying to dance. Then Jace snapped his fingers and kicked his leg out at the same time. _**They told them don't you ever come around here! **_Jace moonwalked around the circle of people and stopped in front of Richey. _**Beat it!**_ Jace walked and snapped, then did the entire beat it dance. Richie widened his eyes and pursed his lips. Then he put is hand in front of his face, and got on one knee. _**You only got 4 minutes!**_ He stood up and started moving his hips. Then he….well you get the point. Magnus came out of nowhere wearing a tight black silk dress and heels with a fake mole. _**If you want it, you already got it**_ He bent down with is legs open and started waving his arms in front of his body. The teacher snapped out of her reverie enough to scream and run flaying her arms in front of Magnus. "Stop! Just stop this madness!" Magnus grabbed her and led her in a tango. Jace was still dancing to Beat it, and Richie was….uh…..I don't even know what Richie was doing. Magnus and the teacher were in a heated tango. The raven-haired girl came up to me again. "Wanna get some frozen yogurt?" I looked back at the dancers. "Sure."


	12. Chapter 12

Hello dear people of ,

I'm sorry to say that my computer is again being stupid….

But then again so am I.

I have regretfully not been writing as much as I should

Despite the fact that I went to a writing camp for 3 weeks…

Anyway, I will try to post the chapters that I have

As soon as I get back to my home computer.

Thank you all for reading this even

If I don't post often,

Or get on often,

Or if my writing has turned to crap.

I only want to post the best for ya'll

So thank you for reading this!

Sorry for the delay.

BTW: I have the new Artemis Fowl book ))))))


	13. Hot Dogs and Plumbing

**Hey! I finally wrote another fan fic whooo! I had to write a vocab story for English, and I was like….I need to update my story…vocab story…..fan fic…..vocab…..fan fic…..what if my vocab story IS my fan fic? Pure genius, n'est pas? Anyway thanks for waiting for my procrastination to subside. **

Clary bit her lip and frowned at the floor as she attempted to **expostulate ****1** her boyfriend from challenging a vampire to a hot dog eating contest.

"Baby….baby no." she shook her head.

"Come on!" Jace took her by the shoulders and shook her lightly, reminding her of Leonardo Dicaprio in that movie. If Leo was unearthly beautiful, had hard as marble abs, and fought demons.

"They haven't eaten real food in years! I'm faster, and I almost won that Coney Island contest!"

Clary softly kissed him, attempting to **elicit**** 2** some semblance of common sense.

"You were competing against a thirteen year old."

"The size of a baby seal! Come on." He smiled slyly, "I'll let you hold the trash can."

"Fine. Don't look so** unctuous ****3****. **It's unbecoming."

_Few hours later_

The stage was set on one of the park benches in Central Park, with a bucket of 80 hot dogs and buns, 10 bottles of ketchup, mustard, relish, cheese, chili, and blood. I pulled my shorts back down my legs and watched Simon, Raphael, Jace, and Isabelle get ready for the contest. I couldn't understand why Isabelle was I a hot dog eating contest, but it would make things interesting. I was beginning to think that I should have brought a video camera that is until I was blinded by glitter.

"Gah!" I jumped up and down while rubbing my eyes. When that didn't work I headed for the fountain under the **umbrage ****4****. **

"Magnus?"

"Nope. Alec."

"Why are you wearing a sparkly mini dress not fit for anyone with two X chromosomes let alone a Y one?"

Alec smiled. "Have you met my boyfriend?"

"The cut the demon gave you on your thigh hurt too much to wear pants?"

Alec grimaced. "Yeah."

Raphael slammed his fist on the table. "Let's get started shall we?"

The contestants lined up behind the table. As Magnus was talking to the passers-by trying to get them to understand why there were 4 people two under umbrella's and wearing gloves and enough hot dogs to feed ½ the hungry in Central Park. Jace unbuttoned his pants and tied his hair back, Isabelle poked the hot dogs frowning, Raphael looked bored, and Simon waved at me. Then they were off. Hot dog chunks flew everywhere. Raphael poured insane amounts of blood on his hot dog and swallowed them whole, sans bun. Everyone else took the more humane approach. Jace plowed through the dogs, mustard slipping down his mouth, and congealing somewhere beneath his chin. I shook my head. "So much **decadence ****5**for such small people."

_2 hours later and 78 hot dogs later_

Simon threw a bottle of ketchup at Jace who countered it with a spit ball towards his head.

"Unfair! He's part angel!"

Jace smiled and patted Isabelle, which interrupted her wiping her face making her spread the mustard from her two hot dogs across her cheek. "Jace!"

Jace smiled, "My bad, comrade."

Simon rolled his eyes, "Whatever." Nobody saw Raphael move until Jace bent over clutching his stomach. Raphael smiled, "That was for …being you….Before I liked you….which I still don't really, like you that is. But you grow like a fungus on people, my friend."

Jace held his stomach and frowned, then took off as fast as he could to the nearest restroom.

Jace leaned his head on the side of the toilet and looked up at me. "I feel so…bloated." I raised my eyebrows. "I warned you. But it was your **prerogative ****6****.**" I reached down to flush the toilet of throw up. Jace's cheeks got big as he tried to hold it till the toilet was finished. Then out of nowhere a big, black, horned demon jumped out of the water and landed on the rim growling. Jace's eyes got wide and he spit the regurgitation out on the demon. I grabbed his shirt and ran out screaming. Simon and Raphael were first to reach the bathroom, they both tried hard to stop the demon but he threw them so hard he knocked them out. Vampires can't get knocked out. So I guess he dislocated their necks, but since their immortal…..not good. We were chased out into the connecting hallway where we meet Alec and Jace. "Where is Isabelle?"

Alec quickly scanned the area for civilians, "She went home to change."

Magnus tapped his hand against his leg. "A demon came out the toilet?"

I pursed my lips. "Yes."

"**Assuaging**** 7****. **When did New York get so **provincial ****8**?" The demon suddenly came from behind and picked me up. Blood rushed to my head muffling the screaming, as the demon ran and locked us in a peculiarly large bathroom. Then tried to eat me.

_Outside bathroom_

Jace tried running into the door, he tried a rune, he tried his foot, he tried Magnus's head, and Magnus tried his magic. Nothing had worked and now Alec had ran off mumbling about a dress and bladder problems. Magnus jumped at the loud thump on the door followed by a scream. "Rambunctious bunch they are, eh?"

Jace narrowed his eyes as his he burped up a hot dog chunk. Groaning he banged on the door. He hadn't finished in the bathroom before the demon busted out of the sewage.

"Hey! Watch it in there!"

There was a metallic clang as what sounded like a shower curtain fell.

"Since when do park bathrooms have shower curtains?"

_Inside the bathroom_

Blood splattered on the floor as my hand slammed into the shower curtain hanger, which fell down. _Since when do park bathrooms have showers? _I screamed and jumped off the tub onto the floor as the giant demon lunged for my torso. There was a **hiatus ****9**in the screaming as I took time to breathe and look for weapons. Everything I had used was broken or shattered. This demon was very stubborn. It looked right in my eyes and slammed both fists into the wall above my head. "I want to rip your body apart with my bare hands and eat your marrow!" I screamed again and ducked under his arms headed for the only hope for salvation, and praying it worked.

_Outside the bathroom_

"_I want to rip your body apart with my bare hands!"_ sounded loudly in the hallway. Magnus raised his eyebrows from his position leaning against the wall.

"If that wasn't an **innuendo ****10**, I don't know what is."

Jace turned a shade of red not previously recorded in art history.

"CLARY! I'm saving you with or without the help of this **jaded ****11****, lurid ****12****, **and **petulant ****13** warlock!"

The warlock in question smiled. "Your wit **transcends ****14**…"

"Guys! We need to form a **coalition ****15****!**"

Magnus and Jace looked down the hallway to find Alec sans dress holding 3 axes.

Jace smiled a smile that had both Magnus and his boyfriend Alec turn red. "That's my boy."

_Inside the bathroom_

Almost! Almost! YES! I ducked and grabbed the rubber ducky that had fallen to the floor when I hit the shower curtain. I then proceeded to **simulate ****16** sword fighting with it. The demon looked stunned. (He had to admit it definitely wasn't a **hackneyed ****17**attempt) There were hacks at the door and slivers of cheap light started to flood the bathroom floor. My hesitation at watching the door aided the demon in finding a weak spot. He slashed up my chest not puncturing anything, but I would have one heck of a bruise after stitching. I flew backwards into the wall and watched with growing horror as the beast continued to advance.

"Did someone call for **intercedence ****18****?**" Jace threw his axe at the head of the demon, who looked quite stunned. He grunted out an inhumane wail before collapsing into dust that promptly vanished. By the time the dust had vanished Jace was already holding my in his arms.

Magnus popped a hip and stared at the bloody red-head a.k.a me. "Well? We rescued you."

I tried (and hopefully succeeded) to scowl in his general direction. "After chatting outside the door while I was getting abused by a giant demon! What do you want? **Approbation ****19****?**"

"Yes, actually. Good job. That stunt with the rubber ducky was certainly **meritorious ****20****.**"

"Shut up Magnus," said Alec.

Magnus rolled his eyes. "Let's go see if the civilians finished off the extra hot dogs. I'm told artificial meat does wonders for the arteries."

VOCAB:

**Expostulate ****1**** - **Express strong disapproval or disagreement

**Elicit**** 2**** - **Evoke or draw out

**Unctuous ****3**** – **Excessively or ingratiatingly flattering

**Umbrage ****4 **** - **Shade or shadow,

**Decadence ****5** – Luxurious self-indulgence

**Prerogative ****6**right or privilege exclusive

**Assuaging**** 7**Satisfy

**Provincial ****8 **inhabitant of a province of a country

**Hiatus ****9** pause or gap

**Innuendo ****10** allusive or oblique remark or hint,

**Jaded ****11** lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something

**Lurid ****12 **vividly shocking or sensational

**Petulant ****13 **bad-tempered

**Transcends ****14** Surpass

**Coalition ****15** alliance

**Simulate ****16** Imitate

**Hackneyed ****17** unoriginal

**Intercedence ****18** Intervene on behalf of another

**Approbation ****19** Approval or praise

**Meritorious ****20** - Deserving reward or praise


End file.
